My office has just been informed of perhaps the most progressive thing to happen to the male/female relations structure since Eve showed Adam how to have a good time. Apparently, in a move of extreme good taste and fair sportsmanship, March 14th (one month after St. Valentine's Day) has been declared "Steak and Blowjob Day!" Break out the confetti and warm up trumpets, or what ever you want to blow. Unfortunately, today being the 15th, "Steak and Blowjob Day" has passed by for another year, but now you fellows out there can be just as upset as your ladies would be if Valentines were to slip your mind. Stand up for your holiday, demand compensation!
Before I start getting the comments back about this being horribly against feminine culture, it was a woman in my office that informed us all of this soon to be beloved holiday (I work in a really cool office). I have no doubt that a man came up with this concept (or at least quickly seconded by one), but I know plenty of women who would not be opposed to a new excuse to shut the bedroom door and “spend some quality time” with their man. However, if you are a woman out there who finds this offensive and find bj's icky, than I most sincerely apologize. I also feel sorry for you because you are ignoring a very lucrative asset. The blowjob, when done well, is an incredibly powerful motivator to any man. Women who wield this talent are rarely forgotten on St. Valentine's Day, or St. Patrick's Day or All Saint's Day or just about any other day of the week. In honor of "Steak and Blowjob Day," I say embrace the blowjob, ladies; it is your friend and ally. (Remember, guys, we are not without our own bag of tricks that are just as powerful and a hell of a lot of fun.)
Remember March 14th for next year everyone, it's kinda like St.Val's Day, only skip the bullshit and get to the lovin'!
Oh, yeah, and steaks are really good, too.
(ps - if any of you women out there want any further explanation of the power of foreplay, I will be more than happy to give short lectures.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment